Time to speak up clearly about a few things, which will explain, in part, why my followers haven’t seen me create jewellery for almost two years, and to answer those of you who have asked why the blog was made private for most of the past year. Trigger Warning: the following content may trigger some survivors of sexual and domestic abuse. I only intend to post once on this subject as I have an anonymous blog. If you’re interested in reading my story you can find it here.

I left for Switzerland in 2019 with all my silversmithing tools and materials, on the promise that I’d have a studio (backed up with photos and a whole library of triangulation), that I could make a life there, and all the other future faking too-good-to-be-true promises you could poke a ring mandrel at. None of it happened. In its stead I was emotionally and physically abused and coerced and I left 6 months later without taking my belongings. I spent all last year, notwithstanding the pandemic, trying to get my belongings back. I’ve sent myriad instructions and requests, but it’s all being held for ransom, and this has hamstrung my livelihood as a jeweller. I have to buy everything from scratch and, as most jewellers will understand, while a beginner kit can get you started, it takes years to collect just the right family of tools. And some of those are irreplaceable, such as the tools that Ken, my mentor, gifted me.

And as some of you know from other platforms (ad nauseum, as it needs to be so, because to remain silent is to be coerced) I’ve been dealing with that ex as a stalker. Cyberstalking at first (fake social profiles, foreign phone numbers, WhatsApp and Telegram spamming, endless messages and emails, all of which are dumped straight into a stalker file, unread). Then in June 2021 he turned up in my town in Tuscany, coming here from Switzerland, demanding we meet and speak, insisting he’d changed, yet again, and to which I refused to comply nor have any contact whatsoever. Police were notified. Then he appeared in person again in August, snooping around the back of my house and which, two weeks later, camped in his car across the street, ended in a showdown when he was flushed out and I managed to catch on film, police came again and he hightailed it back to the safety of Switzerland.

Then, in November last year, this terrorism culminated in revenge porn: videos of me that I had been unaware had been taken, let alone had consented to were sent to clients and friends alike, followed by death threats and threats of bodily harm to me and people I care for.

And he still has all my tools, materials and other objects sequestered, including the stones my grandmother cut and polished, heirloom jewellery from both grandmothers, and many items that were gifted to me by my family, friends and mentor. While I do hope I am reunited with my belongings, in light of all that’s happened, they are just “things”. It is far sweeter to be physically safe and out of the hands of coercion and cruelty – and I’m absolutely certain my grandmothers and mentor would tell me the same.

And yes: I’ve walked away and would happily leave that all behind for the sake of safety and peace. I’ve done that bit. However, he uses my belongings as leverage for continued contact, and therein lies my problem.

In the meantime, despite and because of everything, I am back on the blog, reestablishing a life creative of my own, with no one trying to control what I do or say or think. I am more creative than ever, and I will be posting my art and jewellery creations in the near future, with brand new tools and fresh, bright, golden ideas. I look forward to that. I love painting and printmaking, and I’ve so missed the weight of the hammer in my hand, the swirling dance of molten silver, and the absolute alchemical satisfaction of creating original jewellery. Making jewellery and creating art in my studio, in my home, not answering to anyone: these simple things are what I consider genuine freedom and joy.

A huge thank you for the overwhelming amount of personal messages and calls of solidarity and support from friends, family, the narcissistic abuse survivor community, the anti-violence legal teams here in Italy, and everyone else who has been steadfast, fierce and solid for me during the year of the stalker, and beyond xx